Op-Ed: A Father's Day Treat
From the perspective of self-care, it can be hard to justify something like spa treatments. In the past, especially in American culture, the day spa has been labeled as a "woman's space". Why is that? The benefits of massage, skin, nail therapy, and hair care are universally human, regardless of gender.
American masculine culture has always had some interesting hang-ups when it comes to healing touch. It can be hard to see physical vulnerability as an aspect of strength. To allow yourself to trust a virtual stranger to become a steward of healing touch is a big ask in a society that creates a really strong argument for being stoic in the face of physical and emotional pain and discomfort. This old way of thinking can cause a disconnection to occur between owning and caring for your body versus ignoring its many signals for help and healing. Pain and discomfort become background noise, and smaller issues slowly become bigger ones. As a massage therapist, I often see male clients who have gone past the point of an addressable issue and have allowed themselves to get to a place where they are at such a deficit, they have to make severe life changes in order to get back into good health. For example, if a longtime runner with a torn muscle ignores his pain, his injury could morph into joint issues, which shifts into whole-body postural problems, which becomes a spinal disc herniation, which dead-ends into back surgery. All because he was adhering to the outdated cultural imperative of "manning up" and "shaking it off".
Recently, this old way of thinking has begun to see a change especially when it comes to being a Dad. In the last 30 years, the role of fatherhood has undergone a huge shift and for good reason. Being a father has finally become more than just having children and a spouse and working all hours to be the sole breadwinner that supports the family. There are fewer and fewer households with this dynamic, and instead, both parents are working and sharing the responsibility of raising children, caring for the household, and each other, which in itself is a huge task. We think of these dual roles as part of life, but it's a lot of work to try to balance the demands of work, family, and self-care. Often, trying to achieve this balance is the foundation of our busy lives and yet we still pour more demands on top of it. As a society, we applaud those who are highly productive and are can juggle so much. But, we're exhausted. We're often so used to being so exhausted, we can't remember what it's like to feel rested and energized without the assistance of caffeine or pharmaceuticals. We watch Netflix, play video games, zone out on our phones, or go drinking with the guys to get some sense of relief and replenishment, but somehow it just feels like a thin band-aid. The real issue doesn't get addressed.
Enter the day spa. It's a necessary axiom of modern life that masculine American culture is slowly starting to accept. Many other cultures all over the world already have such places, from Russian banyas and Turkish hammams to Japanese sentos and various other European baths. If you're convinced that it's time to explore the benefits of the day spa, then you're in luck. milk + honey has prepared several Father's Day retreats so that you can enjoy the fruits of your labor as a hard-working Dad, and experience the relaxing and energizing benefits of massage, skin, and nail care first-hand.
Contributor: Kelly M. one of our talented 2nd Street District massage therapists.
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